About

Why hello there… and welcome to Craughing.

Please note: to get to the blog posts just click the tab that says “My Craughing Moments” or click a link to the right.

What is Craughing?

Ever had one of those days where you couldn’t stop laughing? Then you laughed so hard it turned into crying? And you were still laughing? That my friends is called a Craughing moment. Or perhaps you had an awful day? Cried most of the day and then found something that tickled that happy spot in your heart and you started laughing? And you were still crying? Yes, another Craughing moment!

Now about me:

Somewhere along the way, I lost my voice and my reason for blogging in the first place.  In a vast internet saturated with blogs of all types, I chose to try fitting in instead of telling the actual story of who I am, and where I have been.  I lost sight of my audience, you dear Craughers, and quieted my voice enough to become placid and predictable.  I began caring more about what people would think, or do think, of me and my words than actually being real.  Not to say my blog posts are not real, because they are, but I have found in the last year that I have deleted more of my writing than ever before, always stifling my voice to not rock the boat, to not stand out too much, to be accepted amongst my blog peers.

I do not want to be that blogger you choose to read that is always depressing, always has a sad story to tell.  I have struggled with the thoughts that perhaps someone would not be able to see the gratitude in my words. I have let fear dominate the words I chose to share, and that is not fair.  That is not fair to the core of who I am, or the readers that chose to be a part of my story.  I have had great sadness in my life, but I have also overcome some of the hardest parts of living.  I have a story to tell that is not always filled with gratitude, or even sunshine, but it is still my story, and I believe that there is at least one person reading this blog that wants to hear it, needs to hear it, if not for their own sanity, or a little piece of hope.

I am a survivor of a broken world, of broken people, of a broken self.  I have stood in the depths of dark despair and questioned every ounce of whom I am, and I chose to live.  I lost more in two years time than most lose in a lifetime, and I am still here to tell that story.  To offer some sort of comfort to those that have faced, or do face the same shattering.

I am me.  As simple and as complicated as that is, and these are my Craughing moments.

i-am-me

17 Responses to About

  1. Lori Hampton-Rogers Kent says:

    I was having such a boring, crappy, depressing day today. Why didn’t you show up sooner?? Thanks for making me smile today.

    Lori K.

  2. Sara says:

    I know how you feel, i went through a similar situation, and am slowly rebuilding my life and picking up the pieces of my life that were shattered by my soon to be ex husband (a heroin addict). He will always be a part of me, but I had to get out before he ruined MY life, as well as already ruining his own. Addiction is a terrible thing to deal with, on both sides, I hope he gets well, but as for me…I just got my own apt, and am starting fresh, with my kitty Leo=)

  3. Sara says:

    Also, great blog lol Craughing, genius haha.

  4. Good luck with everything. It sins like a lot but even with your words you are clearly so strong!

  5. So funny! I love to “craugh”

  6. Anna says:

    I just read your blog “The Shattering” and it made me recall an episode in my life quite similar. I was 23 yrs old, 7 months pregnant with my second child and just had the millionth fight with my then husband about his addiction, inability to keep a job, and total disregard for his family responsibilities. I was in hysterics, crying, ran out the door, ran four streets away to a small park, sat on a swing and sobbed uncontrollably(in the pouring rain). I thought the rain drowned out my sobs, but a nearby neighbor came out, invited me into their home, a complete stranger, to calm down. I sat awhile, then calmly returned home and continued to live in hell, until I got the strength to leave 5 yrs later. I guess something just snapped inside me…thank God for that. I, too, survived, and so did my daughters who are now 37, 33, and 31. Keep on keepin’ on…life will get happy and you will be loved!

  7. Sue says:

    I chose to leave a 28 year marriage that had broken me down to the point of being suicidal. Everything that happened was blamed on me, the bad stuff only, I should clarify. The good stuff never seemed to have anything to do with me, at least I was told this over and over until the reality was so blurred I believed it. I was to blame for my, now ex’s depression. What a surprise it was to me when he went on antidepressants 2 years out. I, the cause of his depression, wasn’t there any more, why was he still depressed? And why didn’t he get help 20 years ago? I wonder to myself why I am writing this, 8 years out and remarried to a wonderful man that treats me like a queen, not even in comparison, just cause he loves me. I think it’s because I hope that some one out there realizes sooner than I did that abuse doesn’t have to be physical to be ‘real’. And to base our self worth on someone else’s opinion of us is doing our psyche a great disservice.

  8. Liz Berry says:

    I just wanted to say, your dog is adorable. I love my dog, dogs are awesome and such blessings. I’ve home through a lot, as you have and I can so identify. I’m glad to have found you & your blog, thanks

  9. Lynn says:

    I am glad to come across your blog and facebook. The issue of self worth is what grabbed my attention. Sue… i feel like i could relate to you as well…… still in a marriage of 23 years. Actually was separted for almost 6 years and went back (uh yea, smart move) Always blames the crap on me.. yada yada blah blah…. trying to get out of it but am scared shitless 😛 I am hoping to find encouragement here and know that i am not alone in this.

    • Len Rhodes says:

      When you’re ready to leave you will find a way to do it. I planned for several years putting aside money and supplies (in a storage unit) with the knowledge of a 3 family members. My ex and our marriage counselor thought I’ve never make it on my own. I didn’t do it on my own, I had a wonderful support system and move several hundred miles away. My ex made multiple calls to my sister and mom attempting to extract information. Never one to take no for an answer he kept calling—to no avail. Twenty three years later life is so satisfying. It did take many years to work through the feelings of animosity and fear—some with counseling and some on my own. All my experiences go into making me the person I am today. Too bad I couldn’t arrive here without some of those experiences since it would’ve save pain and expense, but think of the wisdom I’ve gained. I’ve been married for 13 years and the way I approach issues/challenges is diverse–much more mature—-I’ve definitely learned not much in life is worth battling/arguing over. What a different and healthier life I have. Best of luck to you. Be strong, seek support.

  10. i just awarded you. http://mollyfielddotcom.wordpress.com/2012/09/15/awards-awards-three-posts-in-won/ — i’d write more but u f;oihdvd ‘PO0UEd ‘sodc ‘A;d to spell.

    xo- m

  11. I love the name of your blog, and your posts bring about some self-reflection, something I don’t always enjoy, but I do enjoy your blog. This week I was nominated for a Liebster Award, and I got the honor of picking 10 fellow bloggers that I enjoy reading. No pressure, just wanted you to know. Here is the link 🙂

    http://mybrainonkids.net/2012/09/21/nick-nolte-or-gary-busey-wait-whats-the-question/

  12. Bipolar Girl says:

    Such a beautiful dog! 🙂 And yes, YAY for you!! Stay strong my dear!

  13. BonnieBlue says:

    I also come from a line of physical & emotional abuse,the whole dating drug addicts,alcoholics,dysfunctional choices to say the least,took me many years to heal and I still today have things that will remind me of my abuser and I get angry all over again,but life is better today,keep on moving forward.

  14. shayewalsh says:

    Hey, I can’t seem to find an email address. Can you email me back to ask you a question?
    –Shaye
    shayewalsh1@gmail.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s